How Should Others Behave?

We all have a degree of wisdom which we exercise every day, but sometimes our beliefs can cause us more troubles than we realize. Sometimes our beliefs about fairness, our thoughts about what others owe us or our thoughts about how others should treat us, can create more problems than anything else.
For the most part, we define our time alive by the relationships we share with others. As we consider our goals in life, we sometimes dream about having the perfect job, building the perfect home, having a collection of the most wonderful toys, or having the largest bank account. At the surface, it may seem as though these goals are devoid of people, but they are not.
Do we envision living in that perfect home alone, without a spouse or children? Can we hold a job without interacting with others? Do we collect toys to enjoy them alone? Can we amass wealth without the involvement of others? Even an entrepreneur must have a product or service to sell, and those aspirations require others. Whether our contact with our fellow human beings is a little or a lot, people will always enter our lives.
As we read posts on social media, the amount of complaining that exists can be astounding. The one thing that seems in unlimited abundance is the human ability to complain and demand change of others.

What can we expect? What should we demand? What are we owed? How much control should we have over others? Of course, those questions have a flipside. Like coins, all situations have at least two perspectives. What should others expect from me? What do others have a right to demand of me? What do I owe others? How much control should others have over me?
These are the cruxes behind the notion of "the golden rule." According to the rule, we should treat others the way we would like to be treated, but I wonder if we shouldn't consider the flip side. What right have I to expect from others that which I am unwilling to give?
We don't want to be controlled. We don't want to be dictated to. We don't want to be micromanaged. But so often we expect others to make decisions according to our sensibilities rather than allow them to do things the way they wish. We need to choose to accept the people in our lives for who they are, or choose not to be around them.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

There is No Such Thing as Chance

There is no such thing as chance. That may seem to be a silly statement, but take a moment to think about that. There does seem to be a certain degree of randomness in many things, but when we break down events to a microscopic level, is anything truly random? Weather is made up of interactions between heat, moisture, physical terrain and the spin of the earth. Acts of God are perceived as being out of one’s control, yet we know we should avoid standing in open fields or swimming during thunder storms. We cannot predict exactly where lightning may strike, but we to enough to have created lightning rods to reduce the threat. In the world of computers, nothing is random. Programmers have created random generators to simulate the roll of the dice, the shuffling of cards or events in computer games. Programmers have gone to great lengths to create the illusion of randomness to allow us to suspend disbelief and play a game. Unpredictability is an essential part of gaming. What makes an...
Read more

Navigating Life Without a Doctorate

Should we need a doctorate to talk about personal philosophy or to develop one? When we hear a statement that rings of universal truth, we often recognize it. Psychiatrists, psychologists, and counsellors often don’t have all the answers. After all the sessions are over, it won’t be the professionals who do the work. They may indeed offer useful advice, new perspectives, or prescribe a helpful drug, but it is the responsibility of individuals to sort out the messes they live in, whether those situations are self-inflicted or created by someone else. A positive perspective and a willingness to make the necessary changes is all anyone needs to improve. It is difficult to talk with confidence about a subject such as change without some degree of experience. So, what are my credentials? I have a Bachelor’s degree in Education with, 20 years of classroom experience. I’ve triumphed over a debilitating subarachnoid brain bleed. I live with pain and numbness in my legs and feet—the effects ...
Read more

That Which is Owing

For those who feel entitled and for gift givers. What are we owed by the world or by anyone, for that matter? What we feel is owed to us often creates rifts in our relationships that can become unrepairable. It is better to understand the nature of owing or being owed before we start to apply these feelings in our relationships. Once we understand what is owed, it is so much easier to appreciate the wonderful gifts we receive each day. To be indebted suggests the other party has received something that carries a contractual obligation or expectation of repayment. I go to work and I am owed compensation because of the work I do. I pay into an old age pension plan and I am owed compensation because of it. Burt, just because we are owed something, that does not guarantee we will receive payment. Our employer could go out of business. The government could change the rules and renege. These things sometimes happen. “You owe me…” is such a common phrase that it is easy to feel we ...
Read more