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That Which is Owing

For those who feel entitled and for gift givers. What are we owed by the world or by anyone, for that matter? What we feel is owed to us often creates rifts in our relationships that can become unrepairable. It is better to understand the nature of owing or being owed before we start to apply these feelings in our relationships. Once we understand what is owed, it is so much easier to appreciate the wonderful gifts we receive each day. To be indebted suggests the other party has received something that carries a contractual obligation or expectation of repayment. I go to work and I am owed compensation because of the work I do. I pay into an old age pension plan and I am owed compensation because of it. Burt, just because we are owed something, that does not guarantee we will receive payment. Our employer could go out of business. The government could change the rules and renege. These things sometimes happen. “You owe me…” is such a common phrase that it is easy to feel we ...
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Pacts Between God and Man

Much like anyone, I wish I could make deals with God. Personal beliefs aside, when a loved one is sick or about to die, I cannot imagine anyone remaining agnostic or atheistic. And even for the most devout, sometimes, after the worst outcome is realized, those feelings of a belief in a higher power are severed. For those who have a belief that there is more to life than our brief existence on with little meaning beyond the present, a healthy perspective can be helpful. Most importantly, we have the power to choose. Anyone who believes that it is a gift from God, must also believe that choice is our fundamental purpose and activity while we live. Regardless of personal beliefs, this is also true for those who do not believe there is a god. People talk about how they will receive blessings if they do this or this or that. I’ve heard people proclaim their prayers have resulted in a specific positive outcome. I must admit, there have been times in my life when I have felt the same...
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What is Truly Within our Control?

Each time I've looked up a term which I felt sure I've coined, I’ve always discovered someone else has already taken credit for it. As an example, at one point, I felt that doctors don't always do everything they can to prolong a person’s life. A sensible phrase to describe that seemed to be “passive euthanasia.” I had not read the term anywhere or heard it before, so I figured it was my original thought. As it turns out, it wasn't. At the risk of not being the first to have had this thought, here is another. “In our lives, we can control nothing but ourselves, and we usually don't do a very good job of doing that.” Original or not, these are words I try to live by. This statement is self-explanatory and this chapter could conclude here, but what fun would that be? To test its authenticity, let us consider some of the things believe we control. We control the television. We control the temperature in the house. We control the car along its path on the highway. ...
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How Should Others Behave?

We all have a degree of wisdom which we exercise every day, but sometimes our beliefs can cause us more troubles than we realize. Sometimes our beliefs about fairness, our thoughts about what others owe us or our thoughts about how others should treat us, can create more problems than anything else. For the most part, we define our time alive by the relationships we share with others. As we consider our goals in life, we sometimes dream about having the perfect job, building the perfect home, having a collection of the most wonderful toys, or having the largest bank account. At the surface, it may seem as though these goals are devoid of people, but they are not. Do we envision living in that perfect home alone, without a spouse or children? Can we hold a job without interacting with others? Do we collect toys to enjoy them alone? Can we amass wealth without the involvement of others? Even an entrepreneur must have a product or service to sell, and those aspirations requi...
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